I have heard that sentiment and spoken it myself many times over the years. What happens when we lose someone dear to us, get divorced, lose a job, a relationship, physical functions, a pet, a home or anything we love? In the beginning, our friends and families may be very supportive to us and continue to reach out to us, but eventually we find ourselves alone with our grief. We may not want to burden our friends with our sadness. We might be tired of listening to our own thoughts about it. Add to that, that we live in a society where we're expected to pick ourselves up, get back to our lives and move on. If we are not making progress through the Kubler Ross stages, (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), we think we are abnornmal. We all experience grief in a unique and personal way. There is no schedule for grieving, no standard of measurement for how long or how much is OK. People can grieve for years without ever making peace with their own feelings. You are the best judge of how long you will need. You know when your feelings are beginning to interrupt your life or your ability to care for yourself or loved ones.
You don't have to be a hero. Getting help when you're in pain can provide truly unexpected relief. While no one can take away your loss, having the support of a professional offers you freedom to talk about your feelings of pain, guilt, sadness and anger without judgement. As grief and loss counselors, we know the best way to cope with these feelings is to talk about them and process them. Acceptance does not mean we are OK with our loss, but that we are OK with ourselves.